Stepmom Epiphanies

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
~Ernest Hemingway

Launching a blog with a post as to why I am blogging in the first place and an “About Me” page is one thing; but realizing that I have now committed to the world I will be writing on a regular basis is another.

So cue in the impending doom of “writer’s block” and the almost full blown panic of realizing I have not creatively written anything in years…10 years to be exact.

I have loved writing for as long as I can remember and I have enjoyed reading just as much. Like others, however, I will say the same thing that many of us say when we haven’t gone to the gym in forever (even though we KNOW it is good and healthy for us). I will sit there sad about not writing (or working out) with the infamous excuse we all like to fall back on: “life happened.”

I do recognize that blaming “life” as to why I am not healthy (physically or mentally/creatively) is a paradox many of us struggle with, especially this time of year. Why would we not do the very things that makes our lives more enjoyable, gives it more meaning, and even helps us be healthier and even live longer?

So how does little ol’ me get back into writing from a very long break? Here are a few tips I have learned from other writers and I will be using myself as I exorcise my writing demons and become free to write again.

1. Forgive Myself. Much like with the weight I have gained back these last few months while I have been injured or the times I just stop working out because “life happens,” I have to look myself in the mirror and just forgive myself for letting myself or my dreams go again. We are humans after all and are usually our own worst enemy. We need to breathe, know ourselves, figure out how to get moving again, and just do it. Leave the past in the past and focus on what we can be doing to move forward.
   
2. Be Patient. It seems that everything worth having in life requires patience, which if you know me is not my strength. But despite my personal struggle with patience, I have practiced it many times with my most precious people and significant life choices. So when it comes to writing, I need to be patient with the hardest, most critical person I know: myself.
   
3. Don’t Be a Perfectionist. I am realizing very quickly that I have to let the writing flow out of me, step away from my draft for a bit, come back to edit, and trust that what I am writing is what is meant to be. In other words, as soon as I am finished with a post and appropriately edited it, I have to breathe, say to my self (or aloud) “fuck it,” and hit the “Publish” button. If I don’t do these steps I will re-read it a million times; over analyze every word and the subconscious meaning of what I am trying to say; overthink about what others will think of me if or when they read it; and then drive myself crazy to the point that I will never hit that damn “Publish” button and just delete it instead. So don’t try to be perfect. Just trust you are doing the best you can and go with it.
   
4. Make Writing a Habit Again. Much like exercising, which I need to start again as well, I need to make this a daily habit. Will I publish a blog everyday? Hopefully. But the goal is to write everyday, no matter what my state of being is at the time. So if that means I am writing a blog over two days, then that is okay too. As long as I am writing. Because as soon as I start making the “life happens” excuse again, then I will just stop doing it. And we can’t have that!
   
5. Read More. The master of writing, Stephen King, said it best: “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write.” He couldn’t be more correct. I find myself having a harder time putting sentences and thoughts together if my writer’s mind is not stimulated with the written word of others. Moreover, the more I read, the more I am inspired to write. So my challenge to myself is to read at least 30-60 minutes a day, and I will go from there.

So there it is. The five ways I will exorcise these writing demons that have led me to a place where I find myself wandering my world a bit lost for the last 10 years. Instead of using “life” as a frankly bad excuse to not do what is best and healthy for me, I will be using “life” as my muse and inspiration to find my voice in my very loud, chaotic world.

I’m looking forward to this new phase! Stepmom blogs are launching soon and I am more than excited to share these epiphanies!